a feminist's ABC: s is for sisterhood

I was distracted from working on my new novel, Fifty Shades of Hunger Game of Thrones*, by a completely new and destructive social phenomenon. Apparently, some women are ruining feminism! What does ‘ruining feminism’ mean, exactly? According to Jenny McCartney in The Telegraph,

The position of women is regressing, not legislatively but socially, and often for reasons that did not originate with men. It was women, after all, who voluntarily stampeded towards the creeping tyranny of needless plastic surgery and a pathological obsession with grooming.

Women! Your love of grooming and unnecessary plastic surgery, which of course originated in a mysterious cultural vacuum, is ruining it for the rest of us! McCartney, you have hit the nail on the head. Carry on! What is the result of our relentless and entirely gratuitous augmentation of our own bodies?

And so now we have a Britain in which mainstream comedians tell jokes on television about women allegedly liking rape; a fragile London schoolgirl plunges to her death in distress because she has been bullied into giving a boy oral sex… and 20,000 girls in Britain are deemed “at risk” from the shocking crime of female genital mutilation…

Wait a second, McCartney. None of the examples of sexism you’ve listed are a direct consequence of women’s baffling struggle to look svelte and have neat hair. In fact, the things you’ve listed are a consequence of – gasp – patriarchy! I’m going to go out on a limb, here, and say that women ‘voluntarily stamped[ing] towards… plastic surgery’ is also a symptom of patriarchy rather than one of its causes.

Still, Jenny McCartney isn’t alone in expressing frustration at and disappointment with women who, in some way or other, seem overtly complicit in their own oppression. Talking about Katie Price, Caitlin Moran writes that, “Women who, in a sexist world, pander to sexism to make their fortune are Vichy France with tits.” Recently, Hadley Freeman criticised Beyoncé for talking about gender equality in her undies, thus, supposedly, undermining her own message. (I don’t think it undermines her message so much as it illustrates and supports it but, whatever! For once, we are not discussing Beyoncé.)

I’ve seen it happen. I’ve probably participated in it myself, even! Some woman becomes famous for wearing very little clothing, and then the rest of us turn on her, like, “You make it ha-a-ard for women like me who try to have some integrity.” (More Beyoncé! I can't help myself.) This approach? It’s not going to get us anywhere.

Because the problem isn’t the women. The problem is that we, you know, live in a society that places power in the hands of men and asks us to access that power through men. If we conform to stereotype, if we align ourselves with whoever’s got the highest status, we’re rewarded for it. As a woman, I know I’ve let the side down. I’ve wanted to be one of the guys, despite knowing that that’s not the done thing, with feminism! I’ve laughed along with racist jokes and suppressed feelings of discomfort because, well, I didn’t want to be that black person. The thing is, we all conform to social pressure to some extent. We all try to find ways to negotiate a society that can, at times, feel downright hostile. Am I going to go after the symptom or expression of that deeply unfair system, or the system itself? You know what my answer is: don’t reject Katie Price, people; reject Page Three.

What I’d like to see more of, actually, is some solidarity between women. In fact, I’d like to see some sisterhood up in here! I think a sprinkle of some seventies-flavoured sisterhood could – maybe – help strengthen women as a group and the idea of feminism as a big, collective, inclusive movement. Show your fellow ladies some love and appreciation! Even Katie Price.

Lastly, I know that there are legitimate issues you can raise about the idea of the sisterhood as a THING. The one that I’ve struggled with personally is, I suppose, the way in which calls to Unify the Sisterhood threaten to obscure differences and power relations within women as a group. What I’ve discovered, though, is that it helps if you remain critical of your own power and perspective in relation to other people. So move on over, bromance – it’s time for some womance.

LOVE THESE GALS.

*Simultaneously my best and least coherent idea, ever, and it is but a throwaway jest. Tragic.